Hi

I have two sons ages 8 & 4 1/2. The 4 year olf has ADHD and is on Ritalin.

They have taken to arguing in the car a lot recently while I am driving and it results in the 4 year old hitting out. How do you resolve this bearing in mind that my 4 year old has no conception of time & the consquence has to be immediate?

Any ideas/suggestions gratefully received!

Thanks

Can you put one in the front and one in the back? Barring that I had to pull the car through and stop on only a few occasions(we're going to sit here until you stop and if you start again we'll do it again) and if we were going to something the girls would enjoy the threat of turning round and going home (after once actually doing so) did a world of good.

Hi

Thank you for your kind reply. You understand when you've been just 'coping' with stuff for so long that you can't even think of evident strategies!

I love the one in front one in back idea except we have an airbag in the front passenger side and I think that it is considered dangerous to put a child in the front if there is an airbag here?

It's frequently going to/from academy when my youngests meds are wearing off. I usually just resort to shouting though I did stop once last week.

I tend to just fight on instead of being consistent. Then I make a concerted effort to change things & then they slip again until I realise I have to stop & think & make an effort again. It's just all like well much like hard work!

Parents of kids with ADHD can't just be good parents they have to be better parents. Can you get books by Barbara Coloroso in the UK? Check your local public library. If behaviour management seems like too much job for you are you dealing with ADHD yourself? My biggest regret is not being medicated when my children were young.

We did that with the boys - one in front one in back. Car-time was HELL otherwise.

There was this one fight. Can't recall which movie - but this was 16 years ago. The oldest was 7 the youngest almost 4. Bicker bicker bicker. I'd warned them and warned them that if they didn[t' stop I'd be glad to forego the movie. Of course they ignored me. Heck - I was all the way in the front of the van right? What could *I* do?! Tell you what I could do. I turned that van right around without another word to them.

To listen to them wailing when they realized we'd arrived home instead of the theatre you'd have thought they'd lost a favored pet. At one point my oldest (an introverted genius) pressed the back of his wrist against his forehead and whimpered through his tears "I just don't understand...how God could put..*sob*..two innocent little children..*cough sniffle sob*..into the hands of Satan."

I learned two things from this experience. A) there are TWO rows of seats in the back of a van. USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! B) NO ADDITIONAL WARNINGS NECESSARY if you've told them once and had them repeat it back to you - along with the consequences.